Happy Anniversary!

Today Chris and I have been together for 11 years!  No photo montage this year, but you can enjoy last year’s:

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Learning to get dressed

Charlotte had to take a week off from therapy because she was sick.  She is back at it this week and doing well.  The first week with the new schedule was tough, especially because during the 2 hour therapy, she has 4 different sessions with 3 different therapists (one person does the first and last session).  This means she has to deal with transition, which is something she really, really struggles with. 

The first week she had a complete melt down for at least 10 min when they changed therapists and activities.  This week she did really well with the transitions and only fussed for a minute or so.  This is really great because we’ve been working hard at home on transitions. 

We prepare her by describing what we will be doing next (the idea of next was something we also had to teach her because she would fuh-reak out if we mentioned that we would be taking a bath next, but she really wanted to read for example).  If she gets upset, we take a moment to help her calm down by giving her hugs and cuddles and showing empathy (I know you’re sad, but we can still have fun when you’re ready).  We also give her lots and lots of choices (the shoes she wears, jacket on or off, help from mommy or doing it herself, etc). 

They’ve noticed that she is doing much better at spontaneously mimicking sounds and actions by both children and adults.  She has to work on going up and down stairs by taking one stair, foot to foot rather than stopping on each stair with both feet.  (Part of her problem is that she is so short!)  She also has to work on starting with the opposite leg she is most comfortable with (to help even out her sides a bit more).

She is working on following directions and then making her own choices.  First an adult shows two activities while she observes, then she gets to choose which activity they do.  She is starting to understand that concept much better.  Helping her understand choices was a difficult task for us.  We use to ask her ‘Choose one plate, the blue one or the pink one.’  She would always point to the one she did NOT want and then get upset for giving her the wrong plate.  We had to rephrase the question to ‘Show me which plate is Charlotte’s plate’ for her to understand.  This has helped her learn how to choose an item/activity.

She is also starting to make a lot of strides socially.  She plays well with other children, is beginning to seek their attention involve them in activities, she shares willingly by offering toys or sharing when asked, and she also spontaneously signs ‘mine’.  This is a big deal because she is really starting to learn to communicate her needs with signs and words, rather than just throwing a tantrum.

The last area we are working on is learning how to get dressed and undressed.  Charlotte used to do this all the time.  Remember this and this and this and this and this?  In July 2009 when we really started having concerns about Charlotte’s development because she just seemed to stop doing so many things (especially with her speech), I don’t think we realized that she forgot how to get dressed/undressed.  We just assumed she lost interest.  It wasn’t until they did the occupational assessment in February 2010 that we realized she didn’t know how to get dressed or undressed anymore.

She’s a quick study!  She can get dressed and undressed mostly without assistance, but we make her practice all the time.  We’ve noticed that something requires even a tiny bit of effort and she can’t do it in one try, she gives up  and either moves onto something else or begins to throw a tantrum.  We are trying to teach her patience and perseverance.

(Okay so after that really long update about Charlotte, I’m getting to the funny part of this post.)  Since you know we have almost twins, the things we work on with Charlotte, we also end up working on with Cooper too.  Although I would prefer not to teach Cooper to get undressed (especially since he has an affinity for being naked and pooping on the floor), it’s not reasonable to make Charlotte practice and not Cooper (also because it seems to motivate Charlotte if Cooper is doing it).  I’d say Cooper has nearly mastered it.  He was dressed in his normal clothing, shorts and a t-shirt.  Chris was not paying attention and a few minutes later, this is what Cooper was wearing:

Change of Plans

Our move plans have changed.  In short we will no longer be taking an international assignment.  We are considering many other options, including a move back to Denver.  I still have a few different options for career within my company, but it’s also a good time to make a move to another company without leaving too much on the table (reputation, pension, etc).  I think we’ll just take a wait and see approach.

I spoke with the hiring managers and they point blank asked if I was willing to work 10-12 hour days.  I was honest and direct and told them that I was not interested, nor willing to work those kind of hours.  They tried to reorganize to reduce the work hour expectation, but were unsuccessful.  They offered me an alternative engineering job if I was still interested in working overseas.  That job did not interest me, nor allow me to grow my skill set, so I turned it down as well.

I’m disappointed that we won’t get this amazing opportunity, but I’m really okay with my decision.  I value time with my husband and my children.  Although I love my career, I will never choose my job over my children.  I will also never choose money over family or career growth.  I know this about myself and that’s how I know I made the right decision.

New Blogs I read

I started reading a couple new blogs.  Jen recommended one of them to me.  It’s about a stay at home dad with his 4 children, two of who are boy/girl twins.  Although I couldn’t be more different in parenting style when it comes to discipline (in fact it makes me cringe to read how they discipline), I still enjoy reading his adventures.  I think he is a pretty good writer and I feel like it gives a me a view into what Chris deals with everyday.  (I’ve begged him to start a blog…but it’s just not for him.)

The other blog is simply amazing.  The birth story is what drew me in.  It is by far the BEST birth story I have ever read.  Her photos are stunning and her writing takes my breath away.  Kelle Hampton is incredibly talented.

And of course, Knock Off Wood.  I’m just so impressed!  And, the best part?  I talked Chris into building this bed for the guest bedroom.  He aims to have it complete just in time for Mikael and Che to come visit on March 22nd!

Life

I am so behind on blogging, it’s not even funny.  I have a lot to update everyone on, but I haven’t made time to do it.

Here’s a quick run down:

Cooper did help feed the dog.  But he also likes to put the food in the water.  (Ignore the messy tray, that’s what I was cleaning that day.)

Playing tag at the park

Charlotte’s new method of saying hi.  She sort of bounces it up and down in front of her.

Charlotte’s hand clapping that she learned from My Gym (Welcome Song)

I loved how her skirt got flipped up here.  We have slowly started leaving the bungee cords off the table.  So far they just move the chairs to the bar, but they don’t climb on the counter.  We will be getting a new kitchen table soon, so we won’t be using the bungee cords anymore.

Potty training is still fairly slow.  We aren’t really putting any effort into it.  Charlotte shows no interest at all.  She doesn’t seem to be phased by sitting in a wet or dirty diaper for long periods of time.  Cooper on the other hand announces to us when he is peeing and grabs himself then says ‘pod’ and demands we take him to the bathroom.  We always do and just let him sit on the toilet even though he has already peed his diaper.  Every once in awhile we catch him before he pees.

He also hates pooping in his diaper and prefers to go on the floor or in the toilet.  He lets us know immediately if he has a dirty diaper or just takes his dirty diaper off and brings it to us.  Let me tell you how not fun it is when he does that.  Here are the kids wearing underwear over their diapers.  It seems to be the only way they’ll wear underwear. 

They are loving hats again and picked one out at the store.

Love the expressions Cooper makes!          

Cooper is quite the communicator.  Through his facial expressions and body language we are able to understand a lot of what he is saying.  The best part is that he has over 30 words now, many of which are very clear.  He seems to learn a new word every day and really tries to make new sounds.  It’s completely fascinating to me this whole process of learning language.

Charlotte is also really starting to talk.  She says 20-25 words, but not all of them are clear.  She is getting better at mimicking sounds when asked and we’ve noticed her sitting and practicing talking.  Her therapy has done so much!!

Charlotte is still very stubborn and opinionated.  However we have changed our discipline style with her and we are seeing HUGE improvements in her behavior.  We have stopped timeout altogether (which I was not okay with at first) and instead have gone completely to gentle discipline with tons of positive reinforcement and choices. 

When she gets upset, we offer hugs and cuddles and then redirect.  We also ask her to explain what is wrong (even if we can’t understand her) and then give her choices so she has control.  What I thought she needed was more boundaries with rules and timeouts/consequences for her actions.  What she needed was to be made to feel safe when her emotions were too big for her.  The cuddles help and then giving her control with choices also makes her world feel more predictable.   Bottom line, we have much, much less of this:

She has turned into this fun loving, funny, confident little girl.  She still has some difficult moments or days, but I’m enjoying being her mommy again.

She makes this motion a lot…getting the hair out of her face.

Charlotte and Cooper both LOVE this book.  I have to admit that I like it too.  The story is great for handling adoption, the illustrations are beautiful, and it rhymes.

Here she is in Cooper’s crib doing her pretend sleeping again.  It’s so darn cute.

Check out Charlotte coloring.  This is a new favorite thing to do in our house hold.  Cooper usually just peels the crayons or eats them, but Charlotte genuinely enjoys drawing and coloring.  Notice how well she holds the crayon!

I still need to upload February’s pictures to Shutterfly, but that will be for another night.  Hope everyone is enjoying the photo blog!