Relief

We are all starting to feel much better.  I could get off the couch for a reasonable amount of time today and we all felt hungry and were actually able to hold some food down.  Things I learned about the entire family being sick:

• It sure would be nice to have family around to take the kids when we get sick.  Where’s a grandparent when we need them??
• Monsters, Inc. is a very scary movie for 2 yr olds.
• Vitamin C and breastmilk really do boost the immune system.  When Charlotte got sick on Saturday I started loading up on vitamin C.  The only thing Cooper could keep down was breastmilk and it seemed very comforting to him so I’ve been nursing like crazy the last few days with him (he was down to nursing twice a day, but has been nursing 6-8x a day over the last few days).  Both of us got the more mild case of this flu (still awful, so I can’t imagine how bad the full blown was for Chris and Charlotte), while Chris and Charlotte still haven’t quite recovered.
• The experiences of morning sickness in the first trimester of pregnancy and taking care of a newborn while recovering from childbirth gives a whole new perspective on what you are able to accomplish while being so, so sick.
• Men are babies.

Sick Parents

Sick parents are way worse than sick babies.  We are both sick, sick, sick and the kids aren’t 100% yet.  So thankful we have Tivo and a million episodes of Handy Manny.  That’s our babysitter today.

Sick Babies

Charlotte did not feel well all weekend.  On Saturday she puked pretty much all day and couldn’t hold anything down.  We just gave cup after cup of pedialyte and attempted to give her some pediasure.  Sunday the throw up was gone, but I don’t know how many dirty diapers we changed.  Quote of the day:   “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it!  It’s like a puddle!” so says Chris during a diaper change.

Then last night both of them were up all night throwing up.  Chris and I each got about 2-3 hours of total sleep, so I called into work this morning.  They both are going on a 3 hour nap now.

Funny story though:

I slept on the guest bed in Cooper’s room.  At some point he seemed to do better sleeping next to me (or maybe he just passed out on me, I don’t really remember).  After getting up a million times with him all night the morning hours are a complete blur to me.  I woke up at 7:30 to Cooper using two real screwdrivers to ‘fix’ my glasses sitting on the side table next to the bed.

I get up and realize Chris is still asleep but that Cooper has probably been roaming the house unsupervised for I don’t know how long.  We didn’t have any of the baby gates up.  I go downstairs and figure out he’s been in the office.

My computer had all sorts of new windows open, the pack of batteries was strewn across my desk and he also tried to feed the dog.  Or actually he just dumped a lot of dog food all over the floor, dumped some of her water on the floor, and filled her water bowl with dog food.  He also figured out how to open the childproofed cupboards and pulled out the dishwasher soap. 

I’m glad he didn’t get hurt or break anything.  He probably thought it was a blast to be able to get into everything!!

Big News!

We have some really big news to share with everyone.  We’re moving!  To where you ask?  Have you heard of Doha, Qatar?  If not, you will know about it now because that’s where we’re moving to!  It looks like we’ll be living in another country by July, providing we get all the details worked out.

My company has asked me to take a position in Doha and for my career and for our family it’s a fantastic opportunity.  We have seriously thought about all the pros and cons and ultimately decided this is absolutely the right thing for us to do.  There are tons of benefits of going overseas and we are very excited about our future.  We are expecting it to be a 2-3 year assignment, but if we need to come back sooner we can, or if we decide we want to stay longer, we can.

Of course we are very nervous as well, and there are a few details we need to work out like my work schedule and Charlotte’s therapy.  This move will challenge us in a whole new way.  We will be living in a different culture and experience a completely different way of life.  We will get to travel and see quite a bit of the world for much less cost than if we stayed in the states.

Several people may be shocked and probably concerned about our safety, especially since you may not know about Qatar.  First you can check out the Connor Family blog since they have been living in Doha for a few years now…I went to college with her.  If you want to see what Doha looks like, go to Google Images and search Doha Qatar.  It’s a beautiful city.

The Qatar Embassy website has tons of pictures and information about the country.  According to CIA World Factbook, Qatar is ranked #2 in GDP per capita.  You can see the rest of the list here.  Qatar is considered fairly westernized and safer than many major cities in the U.S. 

Women have several freedoms in Qatar, including the right to vote and travel without a male companion.  I am not required to cover my hair or face, although I will likely need to be aware of any of clothing that isn’t conservative (no bare shoulders, tight clothes, shorts/skirts above the knees, or low cut tops).  They have a large security and police presence, especially at places where Americans congregate (hotels, parks, malls, etc.).  There is a large expatriate community there and we would likely live in what is called a compound.  It’s basically a gated community similar to suburbia in America.

Needless to say we are very excited and a bit nervous.  The next step is for me to take a business trip to Doha to meet the managers and get a feel for the business unit.  We will also be working on figuring out our options for Charlotte’s therapy as well as other details.  The next several months will fly by!

Update: There really was a tornado

I had no idea there really was a tornado.  Seriously.  By my friend’s house.  Which is like 5 min from our house.  Chris had no idea there really was a tornado.  We’re oh, so prepared!

News Story

Friend’s pictures

Tornadoes in CA??!?!

We have earthquakes.  We have mudslides.  We have flooding.  We have sharks.  We have big huge waves.  We have the potential for a tsunami.  But tornadoes??!?  In CA??!!?

Today we had a tornado warning, except no tornado was actually spotted, which means it should have been called a watch.  Which means the weathermen/women don’t even know what term to use, because WE DON’T HAVE TORNADOES IN CA!

They announced it over the loud city speaker that it was a tornado watch (yeah they’re a bit confused and can’t get the story right) and to take cover.  Um, take cover where?  Houses don’t have basements here.  We don’t even have a tornado procedure to follow in the building at work.  We have glass walls and glass windows in our building.  I guess we would go stand in the elevator lobby or in the bathrooms.

When coworkers said we are having a tornado warning, I had to seriously think about what I was supposed to do.  My first reaction was to get under my desk, then I remembered that was for earthquakes.  Nobody did anything, just went about their work.  My friend heard the warning, left her house and picked up her daughter from school just like any other day…except she had to drive on some flooded streets.  I honestly cannot really fathom having a tornado here.  (Have you seen Day After Tomorrow?  It totally reminds me of that movie!!)

Village Bloggers Raising Children

Charlotte had her behavioral assessment today.  Chris took her since I couldn’t take more time off work.  The therapist asked a lot of specific questions about Charlotte’s habits and behaviors.  She is the head of the department and happened to witness Charlotte’s tantrum at last week’s speech therapy.  Charlotte was determined to have a 40% delay for social and emotional skills, or around 15 months old.  This qualifies her for services.  We don’t know yet how much therapy she’ll have, but we do know that we will have take parenting classes as part of the program (to learn how to deal with her behavior better).

In some ways I’m relieved that my instincts are right, but I’m also worried that she will always have to deal with developmental delays.  It’s hard to have always envisioned an ‘easy’ path for your child to suddenly think that life might be much harder for them.  It’s also really difficult to deal with the unknown…because who can really predict the future?

I have no idea how my parents’ generation were able to raise children without the extended support system blogging has given me.  It really does take a village to raise a child and I am so thankful to all my friends who are so supportive.  To Che who reminds me what is ‘normal’ behavior.  To Ambyr, Tiffany, and Michelle who give me tons of advice about adoption and our special circumstances with Charlotte (reminding me of the very positive outcomes with their own children).  To Amy who helps me navigate the scary terms ‘developmental delays’ and ‘therapy’.  To Magda who offers simple fixes to reduce my frustrations.  To Jen who reminds me to just enjoy the ride, the ups and the downs.

Magical kisses

A little tired today…not loving the 3 am wake up call to a completely naked, wide awake Cooper with a pee covered crib sheet, pillow and blankets.  He’s figured out how to get out of his zip up pajamas.  I’m considering cutting the feet off and then zipping them up backwards on him.

Mommy and daddy’s kisses are magical.  They make all the pain go away and all the tears stop.  I have to say that I LOVE it!  First of all it’s adorable and second of all it’s a super easy way to offer comfort.  Now that they both know that if they get hurt they get a kiss on the owie, they both run over even at the slightest bump and ask for kisses.  I happily oblige, because who doesn’t love giving kisses to their kids? 

At the park today, they both fell down on the concrete steps and slapped their hands against the pavement.  After the first kiss, Cooper slams his hand down on the pavement again and asks for another kiss.  He then does it a third time and I had to tell him it was the last time for kisses.  He wasn’t actually hurting himself, but it was cute to watch him figure out cause and effect with my kisses.

Tonight at the end of the bath, Charlotte sat down on a bath toy and hurt her butt.  She started crying so I got her out of the bath to make sure she was okay.  She started pointing to my lips and then to her butt.  Um, pretty sure my daughter just asked me to kiss her butt.  I had to gently tell her that mommy wouldn’t be kissing her butt and instead I kissed the top of her head.  She seemed okay with that.  Apparently the kisses are so magical you can kiss anywhere, and still make the owie better.

And for more pictures from the park:

Incredibly fascinating grate (and not to crazy about walking on it)

  

Cooper loves to belly swing now

I love the look on Charlotte’s face

She was a little unsure at how to climb up

Working on her climbing skills (she still needs reminders about hand placements, but she is getting a ton better with her strength!)

This is Cooper’s pre-slide look

The calendars are done and have been sent out.  I did something a little different this year and customized them to the grandparents.  If you can’t wait for your calendar to arrive, then click on the shutterfly site and the calendars are linked in the websites/links part of the site.

Neighborhood familiarity

I’ve noticed for a long time that Charlotte and Cooper seem to know their way around our neighborhood.  They know when we walk a certain direction which park we’re going to.  They know if we walk a different direction that we’re getting ice cream.  They know they’ll see daddy and Scout (and begin yelling out both names) when we’re a block from home.

Today I was really amazed.  We each took one out for errands today.  Charlotte seems to need a lot of mommy time lately (well they both do…I’m the favorite for both right now and Chris isn’t feeling so loved these days) so we had a girls day out.  On the drive home we went by My Gym that they go to twice a week.  She started freaking out, pointing and crying because we weren’t going to the gym.  And what was even more amazing is that we were going the opposite direction and were on the opposite side of the street from the gym!  I am floored that she can recognize places while we’re out driving!

Here are some fun pictures from today:

Charlotte wearing Mommy’s shoes

Cooper striking a pose in Mommy’s shoes

Charlotte sitting in her thinking chair to think (from Blue’s Clues):

Tantrums

Charlotte has her behavioral assessment on Monday afternoon and then her occupational assessment on Feb 4th.  Chris no longer stays with her at the center during therapy, but she has always been a little angel during therapy.  In fact the therapists weren’t sure she really needed a behavioral assessment since they hadn’t witnessed any concerning behavior.

Charlotte throws tantrums more times than I can count in a day.  I feel like we get one good day a month with her, and maybe a couple hours a day that are tantrum free.  The other times she is in a terrible mood and throws a lot of tantrums.  She is unable to be consoled, redirected, or calmed down during the tantrums.  They go on for 15-20 min and we’ve seen them last for over an hour straight.  It’s incredibly frustrating, exhausting, and stressful. 

The tantrums are over a variety of things, but most often are because she doesn’t get her way.  Now we know that tantrums at 2 are completely normal and add in the fact that she is frustrated because she can’t talk, but these tantrums seem extreme to us.  The yelling, screaming, crying, hitting herself, flinging herself, hitting us, and hitting Cooper or the dog for 20 min is a lot of energy for something as simple as wanting to eat off the red plate instead of the blue plate.

An example:  Last night at dinner we asked her to stay seated in her chair several times.  We are trying to make sure she understands what we are saying so we spend at least 5 minutes saying it in different ways.  We warned her that we would move her chair back from the table if she didn’t sit down. 

She didn’t stay seated (testing her boundaries) so we moved her chair back about a foot from the table.  This started a tantrum and no matter what we did she wouldn’t stop.  She cried and threw herself all over for the entire dinner, through getting her dressed for bed (we skipped a bath thinking she was overtired), and through attempting a calming bedtime routine.  Her tantrum lasted an hour and half.  A tantrum at dinner if she doesn’t get her way is a common occurrence 5 out of 7 nights a week.  They usually last for the 30 minutes it takes to eat.  I dread eating dinner now.

Today her therapists finally saw what we mean about the tantrums.  Charlotte didn’t want to put the toys away she was playing with before she tried to get a new toy out (that’s the rule at therapy) and she threw a tantrum that lasted for 20 minutes.  Chris said he came back and she had a red face, matted down hair (from sweating), and big alligator tears.  The therapist mentioned the tantrum and said that it was a good idea we were getting an assessment on Monday.  The length of the tantrum, the reason for the tantrum, and more extreme behavior makes her tantrums a little over the top for a typical 2 yr old.

I’m still hoping that this is typical 2 yr old behavior and that she has a fiery personality.  I just don’t want anything else to be ‘wrong’.  I really want this behavior: 

More often than this behavior

(I know this blog is only a glimpse into our lives and some people might think that we need to discipline her more or less.  We have tried so many methods with her (except hitting or spanking, which we will never do) and nothing seems to be helping.  It’s important to us to be consistent with boundaries, but at the same time some battles aren’t worth the effort.  I mean do I really want to get into a battle for control about the color of her dinner plate??

We’ve done negative consequences (like timeout for 2 min) and it only makes it worse.  We’ve found that positive discipline works the best: giving her choices, responding with empathy, offering her praise for positive behavior, giving her a safe place to calm down when she gets upset, giving her time-ins (snuggles when we notice she’s about to have a melt down), and asking her to calm down and tell us what is wrong or to use her words.  We make sure she gets plenty of food, liquids, and sleep since we know being low on any of those things just makes it worse.  Sometimes these things can make the tantrum last half as long, but other times it has no effect.  If you have other ideas, we are open to them!)

Disciplining someone else’s child

We were at the park  a week or so ago and there were several children playing.  I brought some balls and sand toys for the kids, but typically everyone shares and we’re okay with that.  Many of the children were a little older, but a few of the boys around ages 4-6 were playing with each other. 

Cooper was playing with his ball, but was chasing the boys around.  The 4 year old little boy (he told me how old he was several times!) snatched the ball out of Cooper’s hand and went to run off with it.  The boy’s father was sitting a fair distance from the playground area, completely absorbed in his phone and not at all paying attention.  Since Cooper got upset, I stopped the little boy by putting my hand on the ball and telling him that if he wanted to play with Cooper’s ball that it wasn’t nice to take it without asking nicely.  He kept saying he wanted to play with it and I told him, “I understand sharing is hard and that you want to play with Cooper’s ball, but you have ask Cooper nicely before you play with it.”   He decided to give the ball back to Cooper instead.

Charlotte typically plays by herself at the park and she was throwing her ball and then chasing after it.  The 4 yr old little boy snatched her ball after she threw it, which resulted in a melt down from Charlotte.  I again stopped the little boy (dad still far away not paying attention) by putting my hand on the ball, but he ripped it out of hand.  So instead of playing tug of war with a 4 year old, I put one hand gently on his shoulder and one on the ball, got down to his level and said, ‘I need you to listen to me.  Charlotte was playing with her ball and she is very upset that you took it without asking.  Will you please give her her ball back?”  He said, ‘But I want to play with it.  I want it.’  I told him “I know you want to play with it, but it’s Charlotte’s turn right now.  When she’s done you can play with it.  Will you please give her ball back to her?”  He walked over and gave it to her and then patted her on the head and off he went.

So what’s appropriate when disciplining someone else’s child?  I felt like in this case the dad didn’t care, didn’t notice, or was checked out and since the boy was older and understood the concept of sharing, it was important for me to protect my children.  However I think it was very important to be gentle and help the boy learn the ‘right’ behavior.  I struggled the most when it was clear I was going to have to touch the boy and not just the ball, but I honestly could not envision myself playing tug of war with a 4 year old, nor getting him to listen to me without touching him.

For my friends and family, I fully expect them to correct my children if I don’t see it or I’m not in the room.  I would be offended if a stranger did it if I was standing right there and they didn’t give me time to do it myself (i.e. just took over, rather than looking to me to take care of it).  But if I was paying attention to one child and didn’t see the other, I’m okay with a stranger gently correcting my child.

What do you think?

Perfect Hearing

Charlotte has perfect hearing, which is wonderful news!  Okay that’s it for tonight.

Books and Medical Updates

Besides keeping up with the other blog, I’ve also had time to finish 3 books in the last 3 weeks.  I read By the Time You Read This which is about a father who writes a manual to his daughter right before he passes away when she was 5 years old.  I liked the premise of the story and there were good bits about growing up, but in the end it was really predictable and too easy of a read for me.  After that I got my Kindle and Chris downloaded the new Dan Brown novel, The Lost Symbol.  It was obvious he did quite a bit of research and I enjoyed the fast pace, on the edge of your seat sense of urgency the book had.  Again, another easily digestible book and I thought The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons were better.

The last book I read was one I picked up several months ago but it had such a slow start that I couldn’t get into it, called Water for Elephants.  I really enjoyed this book and there were parts that were just heartbreaking.  If you want to know what really happens at a circus, particularly in the early late 20’s and 30’s, I think this book does a good job at portraying that.  It was a fairly easy read and eventually picked up so that I could connect to the characters.  My next book will likely be another parenting/child development book, but I might find something else that will intrigue me.

Charlotte will likely be have a behavioral and occupational evaluation in the coming weeks.  The only flag on her behavior is her not interacting or relating with other children and having a lot of tantrums, but the therapists think it probably has more to do with her speech and being 2 than anything so we don’t anticipate anything to come out of that evaluation.  The occupational evaluation is for her lack of upper body strength.

Tomorrow we have her audiology exam to make sure her speech delay isn’t caused by a hearing issue.  We don’t think it is since she turns to us when we say her name or talk to her and she follows directions fine.  We are noticing some improvement in her speech where she is really practicing all the sounds and beginning to spontaneously make the sounds (saying mama to get my attention, momo for more, muhmuh for milk, oh for open, etc).

The therapists told Chris that Cooper is also behind in his speech (since he and Chris still attend therapy with Charlotte), but since he is a boy and they typically take longer to talk, the therapists don’t recommend an evaluation just yet.  In the mean time, all the tricks we have learned to help Charlotte learn to talk, we now do with Cooper.

This is what a being a community means

So you know the ‘hand’ picture I took and posted on my other blog?  This is the final result of many strangers coming together to help another family of strangers get through a tough time in their life.  You may notice a few pictures that look familiar!

Give Anissa a Hand from davezwife on Vimeo.

Making Progress

The Shutterfly Site has been redone.  I’ve deleted the other sites, but don’t worry all the pictures are on the new site.  Pictures are updated through December.  You may find duplicates of pictures due to editing, but I don’t have time to go through all the photos and figure which ones are duplicates.  I’ve tried to rotate the photos properly from Sept – Dec, and delete the bad/blurry pictures.

Next item on my list:  The Calendar!

EDITED TO ADD:

FREE 75 PRINTS AT SHUTTERFLY WITH CODE PRINTS 2010.  DEAL GOOD UNTIL JAN 6

Happy New Year!

I have several things going on right now!!  I’m still keeping up with my workouts, which is tough some days and other days a great stress relief.  I am also trying to reorganize some photos to simplify my upload to shutterfly, and then I will be revamping the shutterfly sites.  This will probably take me a couple weeks.

While I’m sorting through pictures, I will also be working on the calendar for the grandparents.  I have a good start on it, but I just haven’t had time to finish it.  In the mean time, here is our year in review using only 12 photos.  (Can you do your year in review in only 12 photos?  Let me tell you, it’s super challenging!)

First time with snow! (Visit to see Heather and new baby Ryan) 

Outstanding Young Engineer Award

Sibling love 

First Birthday!

Happy Adoption Day!

Brand new house 

Summertime clean-up!

Three’s a charm! (Visit to Denver at the Faris’ house)

Visit to North Carolina and feeding ducks with cousin Ginny

Picking out pumpkins

Let the potty training begin!

Happy 2nd birthday!!

The last item I am working on is another blog!!  I know, can you believe I even have time for something like this?  I really want to learn more about photography (just as a hobby…I don’t plan on giving up my day job) and I really need to learn more about how to use my DSLR.  I’m learning, but slowly. 

My New Year’s resolution is to learn something new, so I’ve challenged myself with the Project 365.  My new blog, Twice As Many Moments, explains what the challenge and why I chose the name I did.  The other reason I chose my children as subjects, rather than my own life is that entering into motherhood has not been an easy transition for me.  There are many days that I still mourn the loss of ‘my old life’, especially when the kids are having a rough day.  I feel like this will be a great way for me to capture all the wonderful things about being a mother and to truly document how many bad days there really are.  It will either help me see motherhood from a new perspective, or at the very least help me accept my reality.

So on the days that you don’t get enough about us here, check out the photo blog to see pics of the kids there.  I’m making that blog public, so I’ve removed nearly all of my identifying information.  Please be careful what you post in comments, as I know that many of you have our family blog linked to your name.