Hardest Year of My Life

I truly believe this may be one of the most difficult years of my life.  I've never had to deal with so much change at one time and it is truly testing my sense of self.  Most everyone who knows me, knows that I am a very confident person.  I believe I can do anything I set my mind to, I know who I am and it's tough to shake that foundation.  These last few months have done just that.

Having a baby is the most wonderful and most terrifying experience I've had in my life so far.  From the detached feelings I had right after birth, the baby blues, my distorted body image, and to the elation I feel when Cooper laughs, smiles, and is overcome with joy to see me has touched me deep into my core.

Moving from the only home I have had in California was tough, but being cramped into a small apartment is even tougher.  I can't imagine how oversized a house will feel when we move back home.

Going back to work at a new job where I don't know what I'm doing is incredibly overwhelming.  Combine that with missing my family for the 10 hours I am away from them is simply heartbreaking.

The change in my relationship with my husband is something completely unexpected.  I love him more now than I ever have but at the same time I miss him and us so much.  I don't think I ever appreciated how much 'us' time we had before kids.  It is tough to keep the husband/wife relationship solid when so much of our time is spent focused on being parents.  We both are learning how to balance both roles.

And then there is the adoption.  I simply had no idea.  I don't know if I was ready for two kids just yet, but it doesn't really matter.  The truth is that adoption is so very different than giving birth, yet the end result is so very much the same.  The feelings of detachment and baby blues are the same, and so is the overwhelming joy and happiness of seeing my children together or holding her in my arms while she caresses my cheek.  It is the best thing in the whole world! 

So, will I survive?  Yes.  Will it be hard?  I probably have no idea how hard.  Will I need help?  Probably more than I would like to admit.  Is it worth it?  A resounding yes.  My throat aches with the joy I feel.  My life is perfect just the way it is.

Okay...on to some other stuff before I start crying...

In case you haven't noticed I've been doing some remodeling of the blog.  My new addiction?  Scrapblog!  It's like scrapbooking without the mess of paper!  So fun.  The header isn't perfect, but it's not bad for a first pass at figuring out how to use the program.  I can't wait to do more.  I might even use it to design Charlotte's announcements.  (Which I need to figure out how I should do...should they be for when she came home to us, or for when the adoption is finalized?)

We made a decision about getting our deposit back with the landlord.  At most we are looking at walking away from $1500.  It might seem like a lot, but for the stress and headache it's causing us, it doesn't seem like enough to put up with it all.  Besides we figure even if we win in court, it is unlikely that we would ever see the money anyhow.  We are firm believers in karma so we're walking away from it all.  They clearly need the money more than us.

As most everyone knows I work for an oil company where the average age is 47 and the average experience is 20 years.  My team?  Our average age is 27 and our TOTAL combined experience is only 11 years.  My experience alone is over half that.  That is nearly unheard of.  But, I love my new team anyhow!  I have some really great people working for me. 

We will be coming to town in September.  I decided not to do recruiting at Mines because I can't go on both trips that are 3 weeks apart and the organization for my class reunion is all over the place, so I'm not going to that either.  We plan to fly in late Sept 9 and then leave early Sept 15.  This will give us 4 full days in town.  We really hope people can come to us because we thought driving around with one baby was a lot...with two it is TONS of work.  I will email out more details when I have them.

Charlotte updates:

Charlotte came home to us such a happy, easy baby.  She appears to be showing her true colors lately.  She is starting to throw some tantrums, yells until someone pays attention to her ever.single.second.every.day and battles us at every meal time.  I don't think there is a way to discipline an 8 month old.  We think it might be a stage she's going through so we try to ignore most of her antics and give her plenty of positive love and attention.  Instead of getting frustrated at meal times, we walk away and get something done until she's ready to eat again.  It usually takes less than 5 minutes. 

We have made almost all of the homemade baby food.  The homemade food has more texture so she gags on it at first until she gets used to it.  She has started gumming the food, and grabbing the spoon, so finger foods are next.  I gave her a green bean and bits of a banana and she seemed to love it.  She also loves the fruit in the mesh bag.  She had her first taste of ketchup--completely on accident after she grabbed at my plate--and thought it was delicious. 

She is a speed demon with rolling and can get all over the house in about 30 seconds.  She loves to roll herself into my beach bag or baby wrap.  She also loves Scout's dog bowls and toys, so that's been fun. 

She is starting to scoot backwards so we think crawling will be happening fairly soon.  She is also a master at the mimic game.  It has been fun to teach her new things.  She now does 'bye-bye' and 'hi-hi', peek-a-boo, and claps her hands when we say 'yay'.  She will clap her hands or bang on the floor when we burp Cooper and she also will laugh or squeal back at Cooper when he makes noises at her. 

Cooper Updates

I think we've decided that Cooper may not be constipated, he just doesn't need to poop as often.   I've done some reading and apparently babies begin to digest the breastmilk differently as they get older.  Basically they get more of what they need out of it and so less of it goes to waste.  They do this instead of increasing the amount of breastmilk they consume. 

Cooper can successfully put himself to sleep and now goes to bed at 8:20 on his own.  It is great!  He is rolling over both ways back to tummy, but not tummy to back yet.  He can prop himself on his arms when he is on his tummy though.  We are going to retire the swing soon because he seems annoyed by it now and doesn't sleep much in it.  Sort of makes me sad because it means he's not a little baby anymore!

He is perfecting his eye hand coordination and reaches out to grab things and rarely misses.  He has gotten very grabby!!  He pinches and scratches like crazy.  Scout sometimes doesn't move away quick enough.  It's like he suddenly realized what his hands could do.

He also LOVES his feet.  He plays with them and sucks on his toes.  So cute to watch!   And his new thing is to put things over his face.  It started with his new lovey, the burp cloth.

Now, he just loves to have things on his face.  (In his crib after a nap.  He likes receiving blankets too.)

Here he is with the blanket AND a book today (yes that's a doll next to him...we're okay with our kids being unconventional--we are!  Actually it was my doll, but Charlotte seems to adore it so it goes on the floor with the rest of the toys.):

It sort of scares me because I worry that he can't breathe very well, but he always figures out how to move it! 

Oh, that's kind of cold on my butt

We went to Cooper's 4 month check up yesterday.  We took Chris' car, which I haven't been in since we bought it.  It's fancy!  It drives really smooth and has lots of room for both carseats, plus another person in the middle.  It doesn't make us squish our legs up either.  Guess what else it has?  Heated AND cooled seats!  The Murano has heated seats, but not cooled seats.  We turned it on to try them out...we both looked at each other and said "Oh, that's kind of cold on my butt."  I suppose if we lived somewhere really hot, it would be great.  In California with 74° weather, maybe notsomuch.

Cooper had 4 vaccines and did really well!  He cried a little bit, but seemed to be more irritated by me holding his leg and by the cold stuff going in than by the actual needle prick.  He's had a low grade fever and slept quite a bit today, otherwise he's doing well.  The doctor said he looks really good and is meeting all his milestones.  They weighed and measured him at 16 lb, 12 oz and 27.5 inches long (for the record, we also did a quick measurement of Charlotte and she's only 26.5 inches long)!  The doctor was concerned about his weight because he dropped from the 90th percentile to the 75th percentile. 

We told her that he hadn't been eating well in the last week and that we've had some changes with me going back to work and Charlotte coming home.  We also realized that he was eating 2-3 oz in 30 min every 1.5 hours during the day, which meant all Chris was doing was feeding him.  We bought a new medium flow nipple and now he is eating 4-5 oz in about 10-15 min every 2-3 hours.  The doctor said that sounds good and we'll just keep an eye on his weight.  She said he will probably rebound in no time and not to worry about it.

The doctor said we could start solids if he's ready and if we want to.  We plan to wait another month or so and start with baby oatmeal.  Maybe he's ready now?

I went to the spa today to celebrate Kate's upcoming wedding.  I had a wonderful time and my 1 hour massage was so relaxing!  The spa even allowed me to use a private office in order to pump while I was there.  So nice not to have to rush or stress about it!

New Car!

Here is Chris' new car!  A Lexus GS350.  Fully loaded.  It's gorgeous!  Now we need to sell the Eclipse.

We have Cooper's doctor appointment tomorrow and I'm going to a Bridal Shower on Saturday.  Maybe in a couple nights I'll update with that information.  I'm too tired to write any more tonight. 

So tired.  Going to bed now.

Mmm...blueberries

Also The Schrenks posted a link to a delicious sounding crockpot blog where a woman makes a New Year's resolution to make a meal in a crockpot all year long! I had no idea there were that many recipes for a crockpot. We'll definitely be trying some of them!

Swimming!

We had a busy day today.  I went shopping for a bunch of baby stuff and other stuff we probably don't really need.  I bought them swim hats so I tried them to see if they would fit.  Cooper's was big and Charlotte's was just right.

Then after their morning naps and lunch, we went swimming!  Charlotte loves splashing in the bathtub, so we thought she would love the pool.  We picked out one of the three bathing suits she owns and then had to change her hat because she kept pulling it off. 

Charlotte kept trying to 'help' fix Cooper's hat:

 

We lathered everyone in sunscreen and went to the pool.  Cooper enjoyed himself until Daddy accidentally dunked him, then he was over it.  He sat on the deck and ate a towel.

Charlotte on the other hand, couldn't get enough of splashing mommy and swimming around.

While Cooper continued to watch. (Wow he really looks like Chris here!)

When we got home we just lounged on the floor...well after Chris and I made homemade baby food:  blueberries, peaches, pears, and sweet potatoes.  We still have white potatoes, apricots, plums, carrots, avocado, bananas and more pears to make.

Cooper seems to be learning to self soothe which is making nap time and bed time much easier.  Once he is fed and tired enough, we can lay him down in his sleep sack, with a lovey and facing his mirror toy.  He falls asleep on his own with little to no fussing.  His lovey choice?  A flannel burp cloth.  Yeah, he loves flannel burp cloths and receiving blankets.  I guess he finds them very comforting.  Easy enough for me.

Rockin' and a Rollin'

Video of Charlotte in her jumper:

Sick baby :(

What a tough few days.  Cooper hasn't been feeling well.  He usually poops 3-4 times a day and for the last several days he's only gone once a day, if we're lucky.  He also seems to be teething.  This makes for a very uncomfortable, very fussy baby.  He whines and fusses all day, then wakes up with a high pitched pain cry every 1-2 hours at night.  We are all a little miserable and ready to have our happy boy back.

We took him to the doctor on Wednesday to check out his penis since the tip of it was very red.  They weighed him and he is now 17 lb, 4 oz!!  That's really big for 4 months old.  When the doctor inspected his penis, Cooper started smiling and then giggled after awhile.  I was almost embarrassed, but then realized that he's just a baby and doesn't know the difference.  We joked that this isn't the woman he wants to get excited over, she's just the doctor.  Turns out that he has a diaper rash on his penis, so she gave us a prescription for some ointment.  She said to help with the pain of teething and constipation to give him some Tylenol to help him sleep. 

Even with the Tylenol, he is miserable.  Today seems a little better, but wow it is killer for him not to sleep through the night and to wake Charlotte up.  He's been so sleepy and tough to get and keep asleep.  We've just let him sleep everywhere.  Here are some positions that we've been lucky to get him to sleep in:

Curled up on the couch with Scout.  I was laying with them but wanted to get up and get stuff done.

On his side curled up on the Boppy....so cute.

So exhausted, pajamas around his waist and neck he fell asleep sitting up in his bouncer.

I'm looking into joining a mom's club, maybe one that has other children who are adopted.  I've realized that my feelings post-adoption (even though it's not finalized yet) are very similar to postpartum baby blues.  With pregnancy I had 9 months of doctor's appointments and reading books to prepare for the arrival of Cooper.  For Charlotte we really only had just over a month's notice before she came, and even then we didn't know the exact date or if it would fall through.  Plus without the adoption finalized it still feels like we are in limbo  It's a major change to suddenly have two children and I think support from other mothers would really help.

We went to Costco today.  We were quite popular with the double stroller.  It's like having paparazzi around without the flashbulbs.  Honestly, I just want people to leave me and my children alone, especially when we are trying to get something done. 

We haven't been to Costco in forever and now that we don't have our big freezer (it's in storage) we have to be careful how much we buy.  We did find the formula for much cheaper.  Although at the rate I'm producing breastmilk, I'm not sure we'll need it!  Since Charlotte has come home we have been steadily increasing the breastmilk in her bottles.  She now gets half breastmilk, half formula.  When she came home I had about 150 oz in the freezer.  Now I have 180 oz!!  So even though we give her half breast milk, I am producing more and adding to my stash!  I was trying to reduce the stash to 50 oz.  This is just plain crazy.  On the weekend mornings I have to pump to relieve engorgement and I usually pump 12-14 oz total.  This means Charlotte can start having 2/3 breastmilk!

We have to decide what we should do about our deposit from our old place.  Of course the landlord is unreasonable and only returned $454 out of $3000.  We contested many of the items they deducted for and asked for approximately $2000 out of $3000 returned to us.  We haven't heard anything back from them.  We're not sure if we should continue pursuing and take it to court, or just move on and be done with the situation.  Yes, it's a lot of money, but we're not sure it's a good use of our time, especially right now.  We know we would easily win since they didn't even give us receipts, but it still requires us to continue dealing with the situation.  Argh...I just want that whole thing to end and I want our money!!

I got a weird phone call at work.  It went something like this:

Me:  Hello?

Recording:  This is the third and final call regarding the expiration of your car warranty, please stay on the line to speak to an agent.

Man:  Can I help you?

Me:  Yes the recording said you were trying to contact me about my car warranty expiring.

Man:  Make, Model and Vin of the car?

Me:  What?  Actually that's what I wanted to ask you about, which car?

Man:  Umm, ugh.  [Click.]

Me:  Hello?  Hello?

Yeah, I'm positive it was a scam.  If they were calling me about my car warranty, wouldn't they already have that information?  Nissan always identifies themselves when they call us.  So don't fall for it if it happens to you!

Fun pictures of our lives lately:

Charlotte has been super fun the last several days.  She LOVES her jumper and really gets rocking in it.  You can see her two little teeth in the picture.

Me with Cooper in my new wrap (he loves being wrapped like this since he can play with his feet...despite the sad look on his face).  I really love this wrap better than my homemade wrap.  The fabric is much more breathable.  I bought it from Gypsy Mama:

The kids enjoying play time with each other.  Cooper is getting much better at tummy time and propping himself on his arms.  Charlotte still tries to roll on top of him or lick his head.

I was trying to play peek-a-boo with Charlotte and Scout had to come over and play too:

Pictures have been uploaded to the Shutterfly sites.  Notice that Shutterfly has made some improvements to their Collection Sites.  I'm still learning how to use it, but it looks a lot better!

Dinner Time

We celebrated our 5 year anniversary on Saturday.  This year was very different than previous years since we didn't get a babysitter and had the kids with us.  We went to King's Fish House for an early dinner.  They seated us way in the back corner in a booth.  They brought about 4 people over to sit next to us and all of them declined.  We felt like lepers!  Of course we don't blame those people, we would freak a little to be seated next to two small babies.  Finally, a family with four kids of their own were seated next to us.  The kids were good the entire time and we enjoyed ourselves.

We fed Charlotte before we went to dinner so we didn't have to worry about baby food there.  When we were in Denver I was sort of gave Mikael a hard time about not letting Maile get dirty during dinner time.  Now I can appreciate why he tries to stay clean.  I don't do a very good job with Charlotte, but I can see the need to stay as neat as possible since it just gets everywhere, even when you try to stay clean!  Of course Chris is much better at this than I am.

This is what she looks like after I feed her (note this was a brand new clean white bib before I fed her):

And this is Charlotte after Chris feeds her (also a brand new clean pink bib):

She looks pretty miserable in the picture after I fed her.  Plus it looks like I just threw the jar of baby food on her in hopes that some of it would make it to her mouth. 

Here are some funny pictures Chris took of the kids.  Charlotte tends to roll onto Cooper to get closer to him.  He sort of looks like, "Dad, she's on my arm and you're just going to take pictures?', while Charlotte just giggles.

Then he thinks it's funny and she looks like she just realized she's on his arm and it's not so comfortable.

This is Cooper checking out Charlotte's expert tummy time.

Interesting things on DHC

A coworker was telling me a story about her friend who had an embarrassing moment on the plane.  We all know the cabin pressure changes while flying.  Well this woman was breastfeeding her child and the baby pulled off and the milk sprayed everywhere.  It even shot the guy in the head in front of her.  The woman quickly pulled down her shirt and pretended she had no idea what happened.

When I heard this story, I thought it might be a little embellished.  Sure, Cooper has pulled off and gotten a face full of milk, but for it to shoot over 2 feet and hit someone in the head??  Nah, can't be true.  Um, I am a believer now.

I had another plugged milk duct.  (Gosh those are terrible...super painful.)  So when I was feeding Cooper it 'released' and Cooper pulled off choking.  I suddenly felt like someone had dumped a cup of water on me.  I thought maybe Cooper just spit out a mouthful of milk on me, so I gently pressed on my breast.  Whoa!!  My milk shot 3 feet!!  Not kidding!!!

I started laughing and stood up and did it again, except I was facing Chris who happened to be feeding Charlotte across the room.  He says, whoa, watch where you point that thing (okay, I NEVER thought I would hear my husband say something like that about my breast).  I thought it would stop, so I went to the sink and it kept going!  I put a bottle there to catch the milk and I was able to 'press' out over a 1/2 oz!  That's just crazy!!

We went out with the kids to Target to get some baby stuff.  I ended up explaining breast pumps and accessories to a group of women attempting to buy a gift for someone.  It was a little strange, but I hope I was able to help.

We used our new double stroller.  We LOVE it!!  It's a Graco Quattro Duo.  It folds and unfolds with one hand, fits the kids with or without their carriers, steers super easy and has tall handles for us tall parents.  It's fanatastic!!

Leaving the house:

When we got to the store, we sat Charlotte up in the front and buckled her in with the 5 point harness, then left Cooper in the carrier in the back since he was sleeping.  While shopping a woman stops us and looks at the kids, then asks what their age difference is.  We say 4 months and she gives me a puzzled look, runs her eyes over my body like I might be some sort of super-human, then asks "How'd you manage that?  I mean I've seen some really interesting things on Discovery Health Channel." 

Really?  You've seen a woman carry twins, give birth to one of them, stay pregnant with the other and give birth again 4 months later?  Or maybe I was pregnant with one, and then got pregnant again with the other while I was pregnant?  So, maybe I was either pregnant for a really long time, or that was one heck of a long labor!

Silly woman.  We were nice and explained the situation and she seemed thankful that we weren't rude about it.  So maybe I'll just start telling people that I was pregnant for a really long time.  I'm an overachiever, what can I say?  Or as my dad says, "Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing."

I have to say that I really love having a blog.  I am always so curious who reads it, how often they check it, and what they think about what I write (especially the more personal things).  I've connected to all kinds of people and I've gotten some of the best advice from people reading something on my blog.  I love how people start to 'borrow' ideas from other people's blogs or layouts.  It's fun to see your 'elements' on someone else's blog.  It's a great compliment!

Charlotte sat up by herself on Friday!  She is also clapping her hands, which is adorable.

 

Charlotte playing with Cooper's feet:

I have no idea how she manages to get under stuff like this:

Cooper's new bedtime story...What to expect during the first year:

Milk Machine

Chris had a tough day today.  So far the kids have been on opposite schedules, which made him very busy, but at least he was dealing with only one kid.  He kept telling me he wanted them both on the same routine, but I thought it would be harder.  Today they were on the same schedule and he was pretty stressed when I came home.  He said it was nice to have a 45 min break when they slept, but it took him that long to wind down from both of them crying for a bottle or because they were tired.  Hopefully we can get them on a staggered routine.

I am so, so tired.  I feel like I can't get enough sleep right now and there isn't really any down time.  Maybe I need to start taking a small lunch break even if it means getting home a little later.  Yesterday I really missed the family, so I went home early.  Today I forgot a part of my pump and had to drive all the way home.  I think I'm going to buy a second pump and leave it at work...it's such a PITA to drag back and forth.  Especially since I'll be pumping at least until next April, but I'm hoping to go longer.

I moved into my new office today.   It was such a pain to get my computer moved (I've been trying since last Thursday even though they were supposed to have it done before I got back to work).  Then when I finally got my computer moved, my phone extension had not been forwarded, and my desk was locked and I had to track down the key!  But it's all worth it for a view like this:

(This is the Port of Long Beach, the marina, and Queen Mary.  On a clear day you can see Catalina Island on the horizon.)

I really don't like pumping.  I never have.  It's so unnatural.  The only good thing about it is that it allows me to keep nursing...which I LOVE doing.  I've always been a little worried about how work would affect my supply and how I would get the chance to pump.  So far it's been pretty easy.  I pump every 2 hours at work because if I wait much longer I start to become engorged and uncomfortable.  I put a 'Please do not disturb' note on my door and barricade my door.  I'm so freaked out about someone interrupting me.  So far nobody has.

I don't know if Cooper is going through a growth spurt, I am pumping more often than he eats, or if my body is responding to having a second baby at home, but I am making TONS of milk.  I used to only pump an extra 3-4 ounces a day.  Now I pump an extra 10-14 ounces a day!  I have over 150 ounces of milk in the freezer!

We are slowly increasing the amount of breast milk Charlotte gets.  We've been giving her 3 oz, but I think we're going to up it to 4-5 oz.  We're going slow in case it bothers her tummy.  If I can pump an extra 14 ounces consistently, she'll get about half breast milk.  That's simply amazing!  Of course I am eating food and drinking liquids like crazy to keep up with making all that milk.  Breastfeeding burns 200-500 calories, or more if producing milk for more than one child!

I was able to get Charlotte on my work insurance!  This is a huge relief because now we can take her to our regular pediatrician/family doctor.  We really love this doctor and it's super easy for us.  We're going to schedule her an appointment and then figure out when the doctor wants to see her.

Looks like I will be part of the Mines recruiting team again!  That means I get a free trip to Denver in September and maybe again in October!  That means we'll be home early September (and maybe again early October) with the kids.  I'll keep everyone posted on the dates, but the Career Fair is Sept 9th so we'll either fly in early or stay for the remainder of the week.  We were going to come out around the 21st for my high school reunion, but I would rather recruit at Mines.

Cooper updates: 

He's found his voice!  He yells and growls now.  It sure grabs our attention.  I thought he wanted something when I came home today because he was making all these new sounds.  Nope, he was content just playing and growling. 

He is enjoying floor time and can be left on the floor for 10-15 min with very little fussing.  He tries hard to roll over and move his arm out of the way.  Tummy time doesn't seem to make him as mad anymore.  He turned 180° in his crib the other night.  I couldn't tell what I was looking at in the video monitor the next morning because he was upside down. 

He is spontaneously laughing and laughs at funny voices and faces.  He is also smiling at strangers.  However, he is SUPER fussy lately.  We think he's growing (again!), plus dealing with the adjustment.  His 9 month clothes are tight on him (long torso) and we are just about ready to upsize to 12 month...and we've decided no more overalls, they never fit him right.  The adjustment is tough on him because he has to share his parents, plus with me going back to work.  We know it will take some time, but it can be a little frustrating right now.

Charlotte updates:

She cut her second tooth today!!  Her first one (bottom right) came in July 21st and she got the bottom left today.  She's so cute with little teeth!  She is thisclose to sitting up completely unassisted.  She likes to fling herself back, so the boppy comes in handy.

She LOVES the dog and tries to give all her toys to her.  Scout does pretty good, except with the stuffed animal toys, so we've had to avoid those.  It's okay, she loves plastic rattle toys anyhow.  She'll roll all over and collect them and shake them forever!

She has very different bedtime needs than Cooper.  She doesn't want to be rocked and will cry and yell until you just lay her down with her 'lovey' (pink bear head on a mini blanket).  Her thumb goes in her mouth and she zonks out!  It's amazing how easy it is with her!  Gives us hope of what it will be like with Cooper. 

She LOVES being sung to.  It calms her down when she is upset.  Unfortunately both Chris and I are tone deaf...but she doesn't seem to mind!  Her favorite song is Row, Row, Row Your Boat.  Boy, are we tired of singing that song.  She's cute though...she will grab your hands and 'row' herself back and forth.  She tries to do it with Cooper and the dog and her reflection in the mirror. 

She is so tiny compared to Cooper.  Her hands and feet are so tiny!!  She barely wears a size 1 shoe (Cooper is a full size 2) and she can still wear 3-6 month clothing.  She is just getting to a point to be able to wear 6-9 month clothing.

I haven't taken many pictures yet...I promise to do some this weekend.  I want to take one for Charlotte's announcements and also maybe try to take a family picture.

Short Entry

Sooo tired.  Short entry.

• Everyone at work is very happy for us and loved the hand holding picture of the two kids.
• Getting up at 4:30 and going to bed at 11:30 doesn't work.  It's 9 pm and I'm off to bed soon
• I nearly cried on my way to work, I just want more time with my family.  I feel like I'm having baby blues all over again.
• Charlotte reaches for me and then touches my face when she's in my arms...I think I've fallen in love.
• I hate having to choose who I'm going to hold first when I get home.  I hate having to split my attention between them.  I honestly wish there were two of me.  They each deserve 100% and to be held first.
• Chris did an amazing job today and seemed very calm when I arrived home.  I'm lucky to have such an amazing husband who takes care of us all.
• Cooper appears to be learning new things from Charlotte:  eating his feet, shaking rattle toys and pass them from one hand to the other.  He just stares at what she does like he's taking it all in.  He's also learning to 'hit back' when Charlotte gets a little too excited and flails her arms.
• Charlotte seems to enjoy teaching Cooper how to do things.  She really looks at him and does something and then waits for him to mimic.  When he doesn't mimic, she tries again and just looks at him like, no, try it this way, you can do it.  Truly amazing that she is 'teaching' him.
• I am working on opening a new account at the credit union...we HATE Wellsfargo, plus we'll get a better deal on the car loan.
• It's going to be a battle to get Charlotte on my insurance, but I'm sure it will all work out.
• Today I had to tell one of my subordinates to do it the right way when he insisted it wasn't necessary.  He's almost 60 and has worked in the industry for about 40 years.  Yeah, that was interesting, but I stood my ground and simply said, I know you think that, but please do it this way anyhow.

Busy Day

Saturday went really well and bedtime went much better.  Charlotte still is on Denver time, but we don't mind all that much.  Well, I should say I don't mind all that much...Chris isn't so excited about the 6-6:30 am wake up call.  Neither is Cooper.  We will adjust.

Today went really well.  We had a very busy day today.  The babies were both so good while we were out and both don't mind the car.  We went and bought the double stroller and checked out jumpers/exersaucers.  We tested them out in the store (Charlotte made the decision for us) and found a great deal on the Fisher Price jumper through Craig's List.  We had not bought one for Cooper yet, but Charlotte needs more activity than us playing with her and her floor time.  We need a few more things, but not immediately so we'll make our way through it.  We are having a little bit of a sticker shock with formula, baby food, and the additional diapers and wipes we are going through.  Luckily both kids wear the same size diapers, so we can buy in bulk.  Costco here we come!!

We also went and test drove the Lexus today and Chris was sold on it within 2 blocks.  It's such a great deal and it's exactly what he wanted...fully loaded, practically brand new, drives like a sports car, but feels like luxury, with the practicality of having room for both kids.  My coworker has to work things out with work regarding getting a rental car, but we'll probably get the car in a couple weeks.

Today we had to deal with questions from strangers for the first time.  We didn't really think about how we would answer questions.  Many people ask if they are twins.  Today we simply said, "No, they are 4 months apart in age," and left it at that.  You could tell the wheels were turning and they were trying to figure out how that worked out.  One woman had the gall to look at Chris, since he was holding Charlotte, and say 'different mothers'.  She said it in Spanish, but we know enough to know what she said.  We both were a little insulted.  We both are her parents!

We don't think it's necessary to harp on the fact that we are in the process of adopting (nor do we want to go into detail about it), but we are also proud of adopting.  We just aren't sure how to handle it.  While visiting with my coworker, they recommended to make light of the situation:

"We had him and won her in a raffle.  Sort of a two for one deal."

"We had him for a few weeks and thought it was too easy, so we went out and got another one just to see how hard this parenting thing really was."

I don't know, I might have to do some reading on this.  I also need to go out and buy a baby/parenting book...I can't keep up with how to do everything and I wouldn't mind a resource to give me some hints on things.  The experience of being the eldest child and helping friends with their children only goes so far!

Grandma Jacqueline and Great Grandma Gleason went on a shopping spree for Charlotte.  I can't wait to see what they got because the outfits for Cooper they've sent are some of the cutest things I've seen!!  I thought I wouldn't love girl clothes more than boy clothes, but I'm in heaven with all the pink, purple and ruffles.  The clothes she came home with are absolutely adorable, and the big bag of clothes Caren passed down to us are beautiful!  We'll definitely do a fashion show soon!

Tomorrow is Chris' first day alone.  I think eventually he'll figure it out.  Tonight he left for an hour and a perfect storm of sorts hit.  Both babies were awake, both needed a diaper change and both got hungry.  So, I changed their diapers, put Charlotte in the high chair and fed her Apples &  Chicken while I nursed Cooper.  Pretty amazing what you can do with one hand. 

I admit, I got a little scared and overwhelmed and called Chris on speaker phone to ask how far away he was.  He can't exactly do that with me...so we're thankful Caren is coming over to help with his first day.  I have told work about my current home situation and they are completely understanding.  They told me to let them know how they could help and are willing to be flexible if I need to leave early or come in late.  That relieves a lot of stress.

We are so happy to have two children.  At first we were both a little worried about, well just everything.  We didn't know what to expect or how we would feel.  It melts my heart to see the kids together and Chris with his little girl.  It makes me love Cooper even more because we have Charlotte, and love Charlotte even more because we have Cooper.  It is true, your love for your first child isn't cut in half by having a second, it more than doubles.  This is what I saw when I looked over today:

This week we need to get all of the paperwork for Charlotte sorted out and contact the California social worker.  We also need to get Charlotte's medical insurance taken care of--that's critical to us.  We're hoping she can just go on my work insurance so her and Cooper can have the same pediatrician.  We may not be able to since we don't have custody of her, the state still does.

Other to-do things:  Call the credit union about car financing, fill out our FSA reimbursement, and begin the design work for Kate's wedding programs (she's promised to help me with these because of our family stuff going on now).

A little background....

We have gotten several congratulations from everyone and a few curious emails.  I hope this entry serves as a little background for how we came to adopt Charlotte.

My sister had a baby last December when I was 5 months pregnant.  She wasn't able to care for the baby so the baby was placed in foster care.  My family worked very hard to find someone who could take her until my sister worked everything out.  For several reasons, we weren't in a position to take the baby at that time.  We knew there was a possibility she would eventually be put up for adoption, so we began thinking about if we wanted to do something like that.

In April, a couple weeks before I gave birth to Cooper, we received a phone call from family saying that the baby would be put up for adoption.  We contacted the social worker and let her know that we were interested in the baby's future.  The social worker told us that the baby wasn't being placed up for adoption quite yet, but she took our information to keep us posted.

Around mid June, the same week we moved and I got the phone call about my promotion, we got the news that the baby would be placed up for adoption.  At this point we knew we wanted to be mommy and daddy to this baby girl.  After all, we wanted more children, we definitely wanted a girl, and she is our niece.  We knew that if we couldn't have children of our own, we would adopt, so that was never an issue for us.

The adoption process requires significantly more in terms of showing that you're a fit parent, than just getting pregnant and giving birth does.  Many adoptions take quite a long time, sometimes up to 2-5 years.  I'm not sure why our process has moved so quickly, but we feel lucky.  Our home study took place mid July, and Charlotte came home at the beginning of August.  The adoption will likely be finalized in January 2009, but it could happen as early as November 2008.

The social worker flew her out from Colorado to bring her home to us.  We weren't able to travel until August 15th, but it was necessary to bring her home to us sooner.  We were so excited to have her come home so quickly, and although our parents and immediate family has known about it, adoption has come as a surprise to many of our friends.

So here we are with two children under 8 months old.  Yesterday was very overwhelming, especially at bedtime when they both started getting fussy.  Today has been wonderful!  They seem to be on slightly opposite schedules, so they aren't ever eating or sleeping at the same.  She also is able to fall asleep on her own, so naps and bedtime are a little less time consuming.  Cooper is still a little young to fall asleep on his own, although we are seeing signs that he is getting close to doing the same.

She is eating solids, so we have a lot to learn in that department.  After they went to bed last night, Chris ran to Babies R Us to purchase a high chair.  Then, Mikael received an early morning phone call from Chris on how to prepare baby cereal.  We honestly feel out of our element with this.  I am so, so thankful to the foster mother for providing us with a tentative schedule/routine for Charlotte.  We would be really lost without it.

She is also eating formula, so we are learning to do that.  Luckily I produce more milk than Cooper needs, so we are mixing her formula with some of my breast milk.  We are starting slow though to make sure she can handle my milk okay.

It's truly amazing.  She shows many of the same queues as Cooper for sleep, hunger, cuddle, etc.  We are taking time getting to know her and memorize all of her features.  She really loves the dog, and every time we put the kids on the floor together, the suck each other's fingers, play with toys, touch each other, and pull on each other's clothes.  We are so thrilled watching her roll over so quickly and move all over the floor where ever she wants to go.  It's so fun to watch.

She is a very content baby and seems to be pretty laid back.  We feel very lucky to have two very happy babies.  We are having a lot of fun and dealing with everything really well, considering how much we have going on right now.

We are a little more tired than usual.  Charlotte woke up at 6:00 am since she isn't used to the time change yet.  We are used to sleeping in until 9 or 10 am with Cooper.  Chris got up and fed her while I walked Scout and Cooper slept.  Then I went back to bed with Cooper for a couple hours.  Chris stayed up, played with Charlotte and then put her down for nap and laid down himself.  Then I got up and fed Cooper, played with him and put him down for a nap, while Chris caught up on sleep.  Then Charlotte got up and I fed her and played with her.  Once Chris got up we both were able to get a shower and eat something before both kids were up for a little bit together.  Now it's only 2, and Charlotte is napping, while Cooper is playing.  Quite a change from just having one baby!

Tomorrow we have to go buy a double stroller and go to Costco for baby stuff.  We also are going over to my coworker's house to test drive his Lexus.  He is moving to Oman and needs to sell his car before Sept 1st.  The company helps him out, so we could get it for $10,000 less than buying it at the dealership.  Plus we're having problems with the Eclipse and it can't fit 2 babies anyhow.  It will be our first outing with two babies...should be interesting.

Life never slows down.  I'll keep posting updates when I can sneak in the time.

(We are very happy to hear that Maile is doing well after her scary trip to the ER with a hairline fracture to her skull.  We are thinking about you guys and wishing a swift recovery Miss Smiley Maile!!)

Welcome Home Charlotte Rai!!!

We have been very busy over the last few months.  We had a baby, went on a road trip, moved, accepted a job promotion and now we are adopting!  We are proud to announce the newest addition to our family - Charlotte Rai!!!  She arrived home today at 4:38 pm.  She was born on December 14, 2007 at 3:46 pm weighing 5 lbs, 12 oz and 18.9 inches long.

Where her name came from:  We named her Charlotte because Chris' grandfather used to call him Charlie.  We chose Rai (pronounced rye) because it means trust (in Japanese).

She is beautiful and so far is adapting well.  She is very happy and seems to love her brother Cooper and her doggy Scout.  She loves rattle toys and rolls all over the floor to collect them.  She even offers them to Scout!  She really enjoyed her bath tonight and splashed and played.  She is almost sitting up, so bath time was easier than it is with Cooper.

Mommy and daddy are adjusting, but we are a little overwhelmed.  Two babies at once is a lot different than just one.  We have to share duties for both babies.  We are so thankful to her foster mother for providing so much information--it has been a lifesaver! 

We will keep taking pictures and post more information later.  We have a lot on our plate and need to take the weekend to adjust before I go back to work on Monday.  Please be patient!