On parenting

We tried a new experiment: fend for yourself dinner. Charlotte microwaved a hot dog, had yogurt and grapes. Cooper has had yogurt and ate some cold leftover pizza.  They were confused why we weren’t all eating together, but they did like making their own dinners.  On our way to independence!

Charlotte and Cooper have a new chore!  Vacuuming.  They love it.  Smiley thinks it’s a big game and attacks the vacuum.

We let the kids sled on the stairs.  Friends on FB were awesome at helping the kids learn that there are better options than a pillow:

• Use a real sled.
• I want to come do this with your kids!
• Use flat cardboard boxes
• Put the pillows and blankets at the bottom of the stairs
• A pillow isn’t slippery enough.
• Climb inside the pillow case
• Use a laundry basket.  They flip for added fun.

I am on a number of message board forums pertaining to my various interests and hobbies. A perfect stranger who is also on one of these message boards, whom I happen to have many interests in common with, including living in Colorado, had an unimaginable medical situation arise with her very young 3 year old daughter. The little girl went from being perfectly healthy, to having her heart stop for a prolonged period of time in just a 12 hour time span. She spent time in the ICU and the MRI indicated no brain activity.  Her parents took her off life support and donated her organs and soft tissue to others in need.   This affected me in ways I cannot express.  It hit so close to home.  It takes a moment, a single moment to completely change your whole life.

I still can't stop thinking about this woman I've never met and what she must be thinking and feeling.  I attended the funeral and it was completely heart breaking.  I've hugged by babies extra tight since I learned of this tragedy and because there may be a day that I don’t have a choice, when Cooper asked me to lay down with him at bedtime I said yes.

I also donated money directly to her, in hopes of allowing her to take the time she needs to grieve. The entire group of internet strangers raised >$50K in a week, with nearly half of that in less than 24 hours. It's times like this that I have complete faith in humanity. If you are interested in learning more, or supporting this family, you can find the donation link here: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/love-light-for-zb/127512

Shortly after this little girl died, we finished our first chapter book, Charlotte’s Web. I could barely get through the final few chapters without getting choked up.  When I read the part that Charlotte died, Cooper started bawling.  Full on hiccup crying with big alligator tears.  He looked up at me and said, ‘Why did the spider die?’  I told him that animals have different life spans and that animals like elephants live a long time, but that spiders don’t.  He asked how long dogs live and I told him about 15-20 years.  He really started crying and said, ‘I don’t want Scout and Smiley to die.’  I told him it would be a very long time before that happened and then I continued reading.  Then Charlotte says, ‘Mommy, my brother is crying really hard,’ and I told her that he was upset about the spider.  Through his tears he said he was upset about our dogs dying.

Then I started getting more emotional and Cooper looks up at me through his tears and I know exactly what he is going to ask, “Mommy are you going to die too?”   I almost lost it and told him that I would live a very long time and that he didn’t need to worry about me.  This one area I felt like he needed comfort and not the honest truth that it only takes a moment for our lives to change.  I hugged him tight for a few minutes before I finished the book.  At the end, Cooper just put his head in my lap and cried.  Charlotte asked if we could read it again.

The next night I was away from home for some commitment and while Chris put the kids to bed Cooper said, “Daddy, I miss mommy.”  Chris reassured him that I would be home the next day and then Cooper said, “Daddy, I’m really going to miss mommy when she dies.”  Chris’ stomach dropped and told him the same thing I did—that I would live a long time and he didn’t need to worry about that.

Gosh, this parenting thing can be really hard!