14 weeks, 3 days: Don't Squish the Baby!

Holy heck...if I hear it one more time, I might actually lose it! I don't know how I can keep my cool all day at work because everyone and everything annoys the heck out of me!!! The mail lady at work is super sweet, but she is driving me nuts!!! Every morning when she drops off my mail in my office she comes up with something else to tell me "Don't squish the baby!" Here are some of the things she has said:



"Don't sit like that, you'll squish the baby." (As I sit with my belly touching my keyboard tray.) Um, hello...I don't get longer arms when I get pregnant, just a bigger belly!!!



"Oh my gosh, you're going to squish the baby!" (As I sit with my arms crossed.) I'm pretty sure the baby is below my belly button and unless I'm a monkey, it is not possible to cross my arms below my belly button. Besides I think my ribs are plenty strong enough to hold the weight of my arms!



"What are you wearing today, you're going to squish the baby!" (As I sit in my chair with maternity pants that have a stretchy waist band and a comfy cotton t-shirt on.) Believe me, I would be stripping off clothes if they are too tight, long before I squish the baby! I say, don't squish the mommy!!!



Any ideas on how to get this woman to stop, without being mean?!? I can't take it anymore.



Also...I really thought that all the dead pets and plants that came before our super cute, very alive dog were not a reflection on my ability to be a mother. I'm starting to worry. Everyone keeps asking me if I've done anything to prepare for the baby. My response? Nope, I'll worry about that later. I'm too busy living my life, going to work and studying for school.



Well, it just dawned on me that we did nothing to prepare for getting a dog. Literally. Not a single thing. I mean we took money out of the ATM to pay for her, but nothing more. We drove 2 hours to go get her, and once we got in the car to leave, I put her on my lap and realized that we didn't have anything for her!



So with our brand new puppy on my lap (which is completely unsafe by the way) we drove 20 min to the nearest Petsmart. We have to carry her in because we don't have a leash yet. We immediately get a leash, rip open the package, but realize we need a collar too. So we rip open another package and I think we're doing okay. Then we look at each other and ask, what else do we need?? We had to get help on buying a crate, dog food, dog bowls, treats, poop bags, toys, etc. We almost picked up a 'Puppies for Dummies' book, put put it back down.



So I can just see it now...we are going to be stopping to get diapers on the way home from the hospital. At least this time I know I have to have a carseat or they won't let me take the baby home. Do they have a 'Babies for Dummies' book?? This time I won't be putting it back down!