One of my fears of adopting was not being able to see myself in my daughter. I've always thought it was a strange fear because seeing myself in my daughter is the least of what makes me her mother. I get reminded every time I go out when people say 'Is she yours, she doesn't look like you', or 'Are they (Cooper and Charlotte) related, they don't look it'. I guess it's natural for other people to look for a resemblance and even for me to look.
I know Charlotte and I are actually related, and I see a ton of my family in her (especially my sister Savannah), but I definitely got more of the white genes than the Eskimo ones. Charlotte and I have the same pinky toe and that's it--well physically.
After spending a solid week with me and only me, I definitely see myself in my daughter. She now tilts her head, raises her eyebrows says in the most authoritative voice 'jibberjabberarglebloogleblaglejibbersnop' while making big hand gestures. Besides the 'jibberjabberarglebloogleblaglejibbersnop' part I look exactly the same when I speak. Unfortunately I have no idea how to interpret Charlotte-ese, so I just say uh-huh, tell me more and she repeats the entire thing, body language and all.
She also yells at Scout when she barks, requires that her hair gets styled every day (she will bring me her 'pretties'), gets emotional especially when she's tired and hungry, and is very loud. I most certainly see myself in my daughter and it makes my heart get a little bit bigger just like How the Grinch Stole Christmas (like Jen says).
3 comments:
I've had people ask who the "other girls" in the picture with me were and then be totally surprised when I said they were my sisters. None of us are adopted, we just look nothing alike. On the other hand, everyone (even my dad) has a hard time telling us apart on the phone. So I guess the resemblance is there, just not in the way most people expect.
This is so sweet! It is so strange for me to see myself in my daughter. For me, it's expected to have the physical resemblance, but the personality ones are the ones that catch me off guard. Every now and then I get a glance at how I act and how I speak because Ellie acts just like me. It's kind of creepy in a way. However, in your case, I can totally see how that would make your heart sing. Charlotte is lucky to have you and sharing your personality is certainly a good trait to pick to share!
I think once you adopt you relize how "bold" people's assumptions are! Emma, our oldest, looks exactly like me but acts just like Josh!Sometimes with Graysie (who is mixed and looks nothing like any of us)I will find myself telling the pediatrician goofy things that run in our family then I catch myself and remember that she has no blood relation to either of us so it isn't even justifiable. A couple of days ago I got so mad listening to a lady cry over the fact that her daughter has a terrible genetic disease that could have killed her and the reason she was crying was because her daughter will "have" to adopt! Makes me mad! This is a priviledge, not a curse. Keep being a great mommy and loving your baby girl!
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