Language development and cognition has impressed me with my two children as they’ve gotten closer to 4. They are asking so many more questions now. We have always been very open about Charlotte's adoption through books, pictures, and adoption related shows (like Ms. Sunny Patch Friends). We don't dwell on it, just keep things factual.
Cooper was talking about 'when he was a baby in my tummy' and I asked if he wanted to see pictures. So we (me, Charlotte & Cooper) looked at my belly pictures from pregnancy and they laughed because they thought I looked funny. Then Charlotte gets excited and says, 'And when I was in your tummy too! Where are those pictures mommy?'. For a second my heart caught in my throat.
Then I remembered that she doesn't quite understand. Here is what I explained:
"Honey, you were already born when you came home. You grew in another mommy's tummy. Her name is Angel and she is my sister." Charlotte asked 'What that mean?' I said, 'You were inside her tummy. Do you want to see a picture of your birth mommy?' She got excited and said yes, so I took them over to the family pictures and showed them several pictures of my sister. Then they moved on to play with their toys.
It was actually easier than I thought, although I'm not sure they quite understand. I'm guessing they will continue to ask more questions though.
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As a follow up conversation about a month ago:
Cooper: Mommy, I was in your belly when I was a baby, right?
Me: Yes, Cooper you were.
Cooper: But you didn’t eat me, right?
Me: No, honey I didn’t eat you.
Cooper: Charlotte wasn’t in your belly. She was in that other mommy’s belly, Angel.
Me: Yes she grew in my sister Angel’s belly.
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