In August when I decided to change course and slow down, I decided to spend time just being. That of course for me meant learning something new—meditation. I picked up a book called, Awakening Somatic Intelligence. The description sounded reasonable – the idea that there are three types of intelligence: Cognitive, Emotional, and Somatic. I am often described has having cognitive intelligence and continue challenge myself to become more intelligent most frequently through reading. Emotional intelligence comes naturally to me because I am highly empathetic, almost to the point of empathic. Somatic intelligence is an awareness of your body and how it moves/works.
This seemed like a great idea and could work well with ballet. So I started the book. Then I got to the part where someone claimed they were able to re-grow an ovary because of somatic meditation. Um, nope. That is bullshit. I stopped reading the book altogether. I can believe there is a mind over matter, and I know from experience in ballet that a strong awareness of parts of your body is important to health, but I don’t believe for a single solitary moment that you can re-grow body parts because you meditate over it. Sooo…perhaps meditation, or at least that specific book, is not my cup of tea.
Beyond that book being terrible, I also had a really busy life between August and the end of the year. I am tired of being tired. Not having enough time for anything really. Trying to fit something else into my schedule. I spend a lot of time thinking there isn’t enough time to do all the things in life I want to do. I have to remember that life isn’t about always doing things, but also about enjoying things.
All this to say, that my plan for 2015, at least for the first 6 months, is to continue just being present. I have had good friends ask me if I ever just do nothing. My answer is always no. Sometimes I want to do something, but most times I have no idea how to do nothing. I’ve had other friends tell me I’m really productive or question how I accomplish so much. Both of those are good traits, but I also need to learn to balance and enjoy what I have already accomplished, rather than looking to get more things done. I rarely just sit down. I don’t watch TV anymore, and our theater room gets very little use. Even when I try to watch a movie, I am distracted, anxious or sleepy. I can sit and read a book for hours and days on end, but I constantly feel like I should be doing something instead of sitting down.
It’s good to always challenge myself to become a better person or to learn something new. It is also good to be present today and be more balanced – less stressed, less anxious, less tired. I want to friends to be able to ask me to go out with them and for me to be able to say yes. I want to sit down once a week and watch a movie without feeling anxious or too tired to watch it. I want to write more in a private way, for myself. In order to do any of those things, I have to stop doing new things for a little while. On my list for 2015 still includes things to learn. Of course it does!
- Be present and enjoy the quiet. This will require me getting back to riding the train more often than I drive. Quieting my critical mind in ballet class. Saying yes to plans with friends more often. Playing with my children. Watching movies with my husband.
- Start pointe work in the fall for ballet. This will require me to strengthen my ankles, feet, and core. I will only take my pre-pointe class with pointe shoes and not actually dance on pointe until the following spring (if I’m ready).
- Complete a 2 week ballet intensive (dancing 2-3 hours every day for two weeks) in the summer and take at least 1 class with a different teacher.
- Read a book on music theory and pull out some of my music and the keyboard as a way to start self teaching for piano. I mostly want to do this so I can hear and enjoy the music in ballet, which will help with finding the quiet.
- Start writing in my 642 Things to Write About book.
Chris wants to get his blue belt by December 2015, complete the Rugged Maniac, and learn more about music theory. He hasn’t yet decided if that means piano lessons, a music theory class, or self teaching. Chris also wants to choose an organization that speaks to him and begin volunteering his time.
Charlotte wants to try baseball and Cooper wants to try basketball.
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