35 weeks, 3 days: Blubbering, Emotional Pregnant Woman

Yesterday was bad day. Exhaustion + Raging Pregnancy Hormones + Long Day at work + irritating bosses + discomfort + pain = Blubbering, emotional pregnant woman who breaks down in tears for no real reason.

It was my first real emotional breakdown during this pregnancy and it felt really good to cry, even if it was for no reason at all. It started on Tuesday when I couldn't fall asleep until 11 pm because I couldn't get comfortable. Then I woke up almost every hour until finally it was 5:30 am and I just got out of bed to get ready for work. This meant that I would probably put in a long day since I would be getting to work earlier than usual.

I was super busy all morning at work and was excited at how productive I was being. I met with Ursula for lunch to deliver her wedding invitations to her (they turned out beautiful and she loved them). Then I had a meeting for work and it all went down hill.

Remember me talking about my lack of ability to multi-task? Well when I'm tired, uncomfortable and in pain, it is just impossible to do. I had to facilitate a meeting, that was supposed to last 1.5 hours, but I also had to present at the meeting. It's really not feasible to both present and facilitate, so the meeting ended up running to 2.5 hours. So my work day ended up being 9.5 hours instead of 8 hours.

I was really disappointed with the meeting since many of my coworkers and bosses commend me on my ability to efficiently run meetings. This one just didn't go well. The content was good, but I was completely off on my planning and ability to facilitate. Plus how awful is it that I had to get up in the middle of facilitating the meeting and go to the bathroom!! Several people had that 'knowing little smile' on their faces.

One of the managers at work really irritates me and he especially got on my nerves during the meeting. He is always so negative and I don't like his management style, nor do I respect him. I have basically zero tolerance to play the political game and it's all I can do to not be rude and disrespectful to him. All I know is I could never work directly for him.

So I get in my car to drive home and Wednesday's are my days to cook dinner. I call Chris to let him know that I am exhausted and we just need to throw in a pizza for dinner. He says okay he'll take care of it and I start driving. (I'm a little on edge behind the wheel because on Tuesday when I was driving home I almost got in an accident because this stupid driver cut me off by going straight through the intersection when he was in the turn lane.) When I stop at the next stop light I text Chris to let him know that I'm emotional and on the verge of tears for no reason.

Yep, I start crying on the way home...not exactly safe. Every song on the radio makes me cry. Cooper won't sit still and then I get irritated because he won't leave me be, then I start crying harder because I feel guilty that I just thought this. Basically I was an emotional wreck for the entire drive. I finally start to calm down just in time to get home.

Scout welcomes me in her usual way by running out to greet me, but this time she is unusually hyper. Chris is super nice to me and I just start talking about the things that are bothering me. He just lets me talk and comments that he knows how I feel (no problems solving like he usually tries to do). I surprisingly hold myself together. When he says, do you need a hug, is when I finally started crying again. We hugged and I sort of lost it...blubbering and all.

I told him that I felt so silly crying over nothing. We both commented on the fact that this was the first time I've done this during pregnancy and he said he expected me to have at least 3 or 4 of these episodes. The rest of the evening turned out to be fine. I relaxed, watched TV, and designed the baby announcements (I love how they turned out so far!).

So about the pain...I think Cooper has dropped, or is starting to drop. Now I understand why pregnant women waddle. I have what's called round ligament pain, which is a formal way of saying ouch-this-really-freakin-hurts-like-someone-kicked-me-really-hard-in-the-crotch-kind-of-pain. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, or lay down. Plus it feels like I have a baby's head shoved right down into my pelvic bone (which is exactly what I have). I was considering having a natural birth...but the epidural sounds better and better with every ache and pain!