The Talk

My children ask amazing questions and our family discussions are rich and dynamic.  We believe in being honest with our children and present our answers in logical ways with facts clearly stated differently than opinions.  We have discussed history, equality, where our food comes from, human reproduction, pregnancy, breastfeeding, death of a loved one (and mourning/death ritual), religion and everything in between. 

We don’t watch any news in our household, but Chris and I regularly discuss current events over dinner.  We’ve never given any thought as to what events are appropriate or not.  Chris and I also discuss privilege in our household quite a bit.  That our kids benefit from significant economic privilege that is sometimes so foreign to me I find myself bothered by it.  That Chris experiences male privilege which allows him to run at night, not worry about how he will be viewed based on how he dresses, or be constantly told to smile.  That as Atheists we are viewed as lacking in morals.  That as white Americans, our starting line is already far beyond people of color.  That we won’t ever have to have ‘The Talk’ with our son.

Did you know my friend from high school has to talk to her boys about not walking through their neighborhood at night or wearing a hoodie outside the house?  I have never considered telling Cooper he can’t do these things.  In fact, I have purposely not talked to my children directly about Trayvon Martin or Michael Brown because I want to insulate them and hold onto their innocence. It occurred to me today that my children are afforded insulation of their innocence because of racial privilege, and perhaps I have a duty to also have ‘The Talk’ with my children.  I mean there are women who have to tell their children that the police won’t help them and may in fact kill them, and I want to insulate my children? 

Not talking about it doesn’t improve the disparity.  I don’t know what this will look like, but I want to tell them they need to see skin color because their peers are treated differently based on the color of their skin.  I want them to ask hard questions about race.

I told my husband that I need him to be as passionate, as loud, as angry as I am when it comes to sexism because it is his gender in power.  I need him to be my ally, to be Charlotte’s ally, because right now his voice will be heard and mine won’t.  It’s time for me to do the same for those who don’t benefit from race privilege.  Our country is based on the ideals of equality and justice for all, and from where I’m sitting, we still have a very long way to go for economic/wealth, religion, gender, sexual preference, and race equality and justice.  Change will happen with those who benefit from privilege stand with those who do not.