I was asked by someone I consider to be a good friend to
gossip about her family. I say I
consider her a good friend, which is probably a little strange considering the
fact that she’s been over to my house twice, I’ve been to her house once, we’ve
never texted or talked on the phone, or even gone out to dinner/drinks/shopping
together. Really our friendship exists
over FB and blogging. Even more
surprising is that she only lives 5 minutes from me and her two girls are our
regular babysitters. She was an aunt to
Charlotte when our daughter lived with her foster-to-adopt mom before coming
home to us. Chris worked with her and
her ex-husband for a short time about a year ago. Our lives are intertwined, yet she and I have
never spent any real time together.
I consider her a good friend because I respect and admire
her spirit. I know that without a doubt
if I or someone in my family needed help, she would drop what she was doing and
be there for me. She somehow balances to
be both her own person and something to everyone in her life. She is an extraordinary person and I look up
to her. She is my role model in being a
strong, confident woman and wonderful mother to her 10 beautiful children.
She asked me to gossip, so I’m gossiping. She married her best friend. They had 6 children together, building their
family through biological children, private adoption and foster-to-adopt. They were incredibly successful business
owners. I held this view that they were
a fairy-tale family. Something solid,
something amazing.
And then she announced they were getting a divorce. I had to re-read her blog post so many times
to actually believe what I was reading.
They were still living together and still raising their kids together,
but they were working on finalizing their divorce. And the reason? Because despite loving each other and being a
solid and amazing family, he was gay. My
reaction was only about how awful it must be to love each other so much and be
so dedicated to their children, but yet not have a traditional happy ending to
their fairy tale that they had always believed would happen.
She did what anyone would do. She mourned the loss. And then she rebuilt her life to have an
alternative happy ending. She met
someone new, fell in love and got married.
And the best part? She got another
4 kids out of it! She had always wanted
to have more children and this new chapter in life did that for her. I love watching her family from the sidelines
and cheering them on. I couldn't be
happier for her. And I still hold the
view that they are a solid, amazing family.
I kind of like this version of the fairy-tale – it’s more unexpected.
I think being a parent is a lot like looking in the mirror
every single day and seeing the reflection of who you really are and what your
honest behavior is like when no one is looking.
For my friend, if this is true her children are a testament to who she
is:
- Her children are genuinely kind people. They are full of love and they are giving in nature. They are considerate.
- Her children are hilarious and always make me smile when I’m around them. They have a sense of wonder toward life and are confident in who they are.
- Her children are responsible and strive to be the best people they can be – in friendship, in family, in school, in sports, in life.
- Her children expect the people around them to be the best version of themselves.
- Her children are forgiving and thankful. They are honest and keep their word. They love unconditionally.
- Her children are a reflection of her and all the things I admire about her.
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